tramplings

Death by trampling of the Wal-Mart worker in New York yesterday - wow. When I heard about that, in 2 seconds flat I went from complete disbelief to outright judgement.

How dare these people allow themselves to be so consumed - literally - by cheap, plastic crap that they would even lightly push the person in front of them, much less rush the door to get inside? I don't care if there's a freaking gold mine on Aisle 3 for $19. Have we lost our ever-loving minds? What a perfect mirror for our society to see their reflection in.

Then I started thinking that it probably wasn't the people at the front of the line who were pushing on the door so hard, those who could actually see the employee on the other side of the glass. I guessed it was the people in the middle or the back who let impatience get the better of them and started inching forward, then footing, then yarding. Their competitive nature overran their manners and sense when a Samsung 50-inch Plasma HDTV for $798 was involved, and they never realized what was happening ahead of them. That's what I guessed.

BUT THEN, I read a news update online which said that people were feistily and angrily shopping and refused to leave even when informed that the store was closing because of a death by trampling. "But I've been standing in line since yesterday," they said. Boy, would I have loved to have gotten ahold of the Wal-Mart loudspeaker system and said, "STOP! Everyone just STOP what you're doing right now. You people, yes you, have just run over a bunch of fellow human beings, including a woman who is 8 months pregnant and a young man who appears to be dead. Now look at the crap in your hands and drop it to the ground. Just drop it. And on your way out, we've instructed our greeters to dispense serious spankings-by-ping-pong-paddle to each and every one of you. Now GET GOING."

Ahem. Yes, well, easy for me to say as a non-shopper and as a person who would rather poke fun at a crowd than be part of one. Then I remembered. I remembered a few of the many times I've trampled over people to score a useless item or get a point across or prove myself. Three examples, if I may:

Trampling #1:
When I was in college, a bunch of girls from my floor drove to the ocean for a day. We found in the shallow waters the end of a giant wooden spool used for wrapping rope or steel cables around. It's simply a huge circle of wood onto which a bunch of people can sit or stand and float about. Long story short, I wanted that circle for my very own, to make a table top out of. We had all driven small cars, so I called a guy back at the college and begged him to drive the two hours to the coast with his pickup. As we loaded that stupid wooden circle up, there was a family standing there watching us. "You know, that's a neighborhood play thing," said the dad meekly. "Nobody really owns it. All the kids around here use it." I sort of ignored him, made small talk about a different subject, rationalized it in my head, whatever. And off we took with it.

By that night my stomach was in shreds over it, no help to Jason, at that time my boyfriend, who did nothing to alleviate my guilt. I cried and cried. And actually, after enough crying, Jason recognized I wasn't completely lost to the Dark Side and he did console me. The whole experience is something I've thought a lot about over time. That silly circle cost me a bunch of money that I didn't have too. I'd had to go buy rope to tie it down, pay for my friend's gas, and buy both his dinner and that of his girlfriend (whom I didn't know was coming along) at a very nice restaurant. And whatever became of the circle? It leaned up against K House, where I lived, and grass grew around it until I left college. I assume it was thrown out when they demolished the house several years later.

Trampling #2:
Once, a pair of super soft pants from Old Navy was given to me for Christmas. They were too big on me, so I took them in for exchange. The girl at the front counter said, "Oh my gosh! I just LOVE these pants. They sold out so quickly. We don't have any left, but you could pick something else of the same value." I knew that girl was going to take home those super soft pants, my super soft pants if I left them there. Suddenly, since other people wanted them, they were worth something. So I changed my mind and kept them. Even though they were too big. This was while I was a grown woman.

Trampling #3:
A long time friend of mine went through a really tough divorce several years back. I'd known all along about some of the relational problems they had that extended back to their dating days, but we'd lost touch during the actual divorce proceedings. When I found out about the divorce later, without knowing any significant current details about it or even pausing to ponder how my friend was coping, I gave her a piece of my mind about her culpability. That was a very bad thing to do. I didn't hear back from her for a little while. Then, instead of blowing me off like she could've done, she was honest about what a jerk I'd been and graciously explained some of the personal details that informed the divorce decision. That was an important and humbling lesson to me, and I hope I learned a significant amount more than whatever amount my friend was hurt.

So, tramplings. Yes, they happen by throngs of people who lose their wits, like Wal-Mart shoppers on Black Friday. They happen by individuals too, like me.

a few fotografias

First off, nope. Nada. Zilcho change. No indication the baby's on its way.

Pregnancy-induced insomnia has me up tonight, so like a moth to two flames I come first to food and then to the computer to blog and be blogged. Here are some pictures from Thanksgiving day and today. Actually, the first one of Jason and my folks is from Tuesday - not that it matters. They're watching a buck chase a doe.

This was fun to see:

exact same location, 24 hours apart, different herd of critters

Here's Dad passing down a surprising wrestling move to Cousin Eugene at the Thanksgiving gathering. The move is called "While-the-other-guy-is-wondering-what-in-Zeus's-name-you're- doing-boom!-you've-got-him-pinned." Dad has wrestled since high school and coached my brothers from when they were small, so it was common as I grew for the living room furniture to be pushed aside and a wrestling match to commence. It was refreshing to see it again after time away from home, you know? One of those visuals you don't even realize you've missed. Not this butts-up visual specifically, but the general scene.

looking at google-earth to see where everybody hunted

Gunther and Molly at the top of the stairs

wondering if we're going for a walk or what

I'm thankful for

family and friends, of course! and life and liberty, and shelter and food, and health. But here are some specifics on my mind this season:

• my parents, who have opened their home to us and have loved us unceasingly, freely giving emotional support, time, counsel, and apple fritters, and Mom, who has cooked more than usual for us since I've been on bed rest
• Jason, my compassionate, sincere lover and life partner, a good man who will be a very good Papa
• getting to be near Mom and Grandma Louise, hearing their birth stories, and experiencing the excitement from their vantage points
• not working at a job for money right now
• frosty mornings and fog on the meadow
• the abundance of life I see each day: dogs, horses, deer, wild turkeys, birds, bugs, and spiders
• the howls and yips of coyote packs at night
• my Grandma Maxine's peaceful passing, and the beautiful time with family that followed
• nearby friends and family who tell us they pray for the baby and the delivery, and who lend us books and baby paraphenalia
• far off friends and family who call or write with news of their own and want an update from us
• wiggles and rollings of the life within
• expecting a baby at the same time as several close friends
• warmth from a wood stove
• the rich guy who is happening across this blog (maybe months later) and decides to send us a bunch of money. Thanks, guy.
• candles
• washrags - what a handy idea
• the rekindling of old friendships and creation of new ones
• the moon and darkness
• the sun and light

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

Guess Stuff About the Baby Contest

A couple of friends have recently had contests on their blogs just for kicks and giggles. That got me to thinking that since we know virtually nothing about our baby, how fun it would be to have a little guesswork contest.

To participate, simply click "comments" at the end of this post and state your guesses. Anybody can do it; if you don't have a blogger account, comment as "anonymous" and be sure to include your name in the message. We won't close the contest until the baby is born. The prize for whomever's answers are the most accurate will be....something. You can safely figure it will be homemade or worth less than $10, but where you'll be lacking in fortune, you'll make up for in fame when I announce you as the winner here on the blog!

Useful to know: the due date is December 3rd or 4th (it switches, depending on the chart used, maybe because this was a leap year). I'll be 39 weeks along out of 40 this Wednesday. The baby seems low-key; it's not super wiggly, but it is very responsive to touch, as we know by the heartbeat variations and movement when we or the midwife jostle it this way or that. Oh! Two weeks ago, Marcy felt him/her to be just under 7 pounds.

Things to guess about:

• the baby's sex
• weight
• length
• arrival date
• arrival time
• most surprising feature
• any other guesses! (this can only up your chances)

There's the "comments" link, right below these words.

end o' the week pics and sprego update

Here's my brother on his 27th birthday,

hoarding his presents in these tough economic times.

I love you, Luke!!

What's yummier than yummy?

A man using power tools in long johns, wool socks,

and a Samoan lava-lava.

Peanut, skinny even by Chihuahua standards,

adores any heat source.

Happy, happy news in our little world! With all this bed resting, my blood pressure has stabilized quite significantly. Marcy let me go to the film festival Wednesday night, which was a fabulous event. We enjoyed every film they showed; it was a good year for variety of style and subject matter. PLUS, and perhaps most significantly, we met up with actual FRIENDS at the festival. They are other human beings besides ourselves who live around here and with whom we can do social things, a major missing ingredient in our new lives down here in the States.

Jason has been taking my blood pressure each day, which has been consistently 20 points lower than what it was last week. Today we phoned in to Marcy the results of that and my blood glucose and protein levels. She was happy and said, "You know what this means, don't you? Your body is responding well to bed rest, so you need to keep it up." [insert visual of me blubbering my lips with my finger like a person going crazy] "However," she continued, "You can now feel free to get up and move about for a couple hours each day. Think hard about how you want to spend that time. You can even go for a walk." WELL, say no more, Marcy the Midwife! Very soon, Jason and the dogs joined me for a meadow walk in the gloriously brisk, 1/2 sunny, 1/2 storm cloudy day.

two great videos

These videos, which I watched from other people's blogs while I bed rested (thanks Don and Matt), go together. They are both hilarious. The first is a discussion of how spoiled technology has made us, and the second illustrates to me the opposing simplicity of community, of play, of spontaneously making something fun happen together.

Louis CK - Everything's Amazing; Nobody's Happy

Toddler Leads the Celebration

spregnancy update: 38 weeks

First, the good news: Jason is finished with the bassinet! The main body is in the old mortise and tenon style, whereby one piece fits snugly into another, with no screws or nails. He did use bolts to hold on the rockers, because time was slipping away and that was just easier. His main material was a 4x8' piece of furniture-grade plywood, and he shaped pegs out of walnut scraps from my grandpa Gene. The whole thing is sealed with a lacquer that still has another few days to cure, and once it does, it'll be toxin-free even if babies or critters chew on it. I will probably need to post one more picture after we get it set up with blankets, and maybe another when it contains a wittle tiny sleeping baby.

Second, the not so great news: my blood pressure seems to be creeping upward, as Marcy discovered yesterday at my weekly appointment. She put me on bed rest right away. UUGH! When she told me I had no choice, I said, "But what if the Banff Film Festival is Wednesday night?!" She said, "It is. I'm going to it." So, I can't even sneak out of the house for that, because my midwife will be there! Actually, she's coming over tomorrow to take my blood pressure again, and if things are okay, she might let me up for the films. That would be uber-cool, because attending the BFF was a tradition for us every year in Alaska, and we've been looking so forward to it here.

After about two hours home yesterday, I could see this bed rest bit was going to be a challenge. I get restless so easily. There aren't major undone things, so I'm only mildly anxious about that, but I just like movement, see. It's also weird to lay here feeling perfectly fine and ask someone else to fill up my water glass or grab a book for me.

However, thirdly, as consolation news and to show that I am not a complete whiner who's out of touch with what matters: the baby is doing perfectly fine, by all indications. Also, Marcy's not too worried yet, because my personal baseline blood pressure happens to be high anyway and has been consistent all along. It's just creeping up a tad, and she doesn't want to take chances.

Aside from my belly button never popping out (for which I have been patiently waiting over my thirty-plus years on this planet) the blood pressure thing has been one of the biggest disappointments/worries of my spregnancy. So, I reckon I'm pretty fortunate. I have so many good things, including a super mother who immediately took over meal preparation and scolds me for breaking rules, and an attentive husband, who, despite being an errand-hater, took my list of last minute errands and is even now running them.

I am quite thankful. Quite thankful indeed.

deer and geese and evenings

Yesterday I took my walk at late dusk, and the different light brought new life to common sights. A doe and two fawns ran ahead of me, and their tails were positively glowing white in the haze of the coming night, swishing back and forth like a bouquet of pond cat tails. I thought something was wrong with my eyes; that's how white their tails were.

In a few minutes, I heard a great honking and looked up to see a flock of geese. They were silhouetted so starkly in the vast, clear sky. Poor dears were heading the wrong way, but maybe in a few months after they've met their end in the Yukon Territory, God will let them know that one human, at the very least, recognized their last flight as incredibly beautiful. Or they could be, as my mother suggested, taking an alternate path to avoid bad weather. When I was almost home again and it was pretty much dark, I heard one single honking goose overhead, also flying northwest. I was about to get really sad, but I strained my eyes and could see that there were at least 7 or 8 of them. Just the one honker though, keeping everybody encouraged. The other ones were thinking, "This route seems very fishy..."

Tonight Jason and Dad took two horses and went on a hunt overnight. We need winter meat desperately - a few deer, an elk, or a combination. Jason had a little buck in bow range a couple of evenings ago and called my dad on his cell to see if he'd be available to help haul it out, since it was almost sunset and he was a ways off the road. Talk about blending old ways and new - a bow and arrows and a cell phone. Unfortunately, Dad had a meeting that night, so Jason decided to let the critter go, but he's sorry about it now after a couple subsequent days of being skunked.

We only did a little hunting in Alaska, and I like being in the mode again of having reason to care about the weather and skies other than for recreation. Because of the full moon and clear skies lately, the deer stay up late grazing and go to bed in early morning. Then they sleep in and get up midday for even more grazing. This, as opposed to grazing primarily at dawn and dusk. Now I find that very cool!