overheard at a car dealership yesterday

The dealer comes back into the main waiting room from the little side room where All Mysterious Decisions Are Made and All Car Values And Your Self-Worth Are Determined. He sits down at the table, papers in hand, beside a timid car-shopping lady who is at least ten years his senior. Her 11-year old son is standing between them looking back and forth. The dealer talks in a whiny, condescending voice.

dealer: Mmkay, so what we're gonna need is a co-signer. Mmmkay? And I need you to do that very soon, today or tomorrow, and get RIGHT BACK to me. Can you do that? Hmmm? Can you do that?
lady: Um, yeah, okay.
dealer: Is there anybody you can talk to who could co-sign? Mom? Dad? an aunt? an uncle?
lady: Well, my dad died last year [looks away sadly].
dealer: Awwwwwwwwwww.
kid: [sees price sticker in dealer's hand] So, that car is gonna cost us fourteen thousand dollars?
dealer: [annoyed and dismissive] Umm, no. I've got several people in the building I'm working with right now. [turns back to lady] So, I'm gonna need you to get right on this. Will you do that? Get ahold of anybody you can. Mom. Dad.* Anybody. And call me.


* Yes, he did. Only ten seconds after she'd stated her dad was dead, and only eight seconds after he'd acknowledged it with an extended "Awwwww."

Charlie's prayer

Okay, people. Please adjust to the idea that you're about to spend just under 3 minutes listening to the bedtime prayer of one of my college mate's sons. Do not delay. Click here.

first big girl bath

and the mystery photo is of....

....two spider legs.

They were all that was left in Zoralee's mouth after I heard her gag and then swallow. At first I thought it was a bit of string, because she loves to find those around. But when I held it close to my eyes and saw the tiny hairs, I freaked. "That is DIS-GUST-ING, honey! Yucky! Yucky!" I was instantly ashamed of myself, because I'm the one who said during spregnancy that we should let the child eat bugs as a sort of introduction to world food. Jason had said we shouldn't, since some bugs could be poisonous or dangerous. At that point, I only half-heartedly conceded. But when it actually happened, I sure reacted strongly. And I wasn't thinking a bit about the poison potential but simply the idea of eating a spider.

I was so glad I'd recently nursed her and wouldn't need to again for a few hours. Can you imagine if I'd been nursing her and that spider came crawling out of her mouth? Now that's a horror flick; how's about it, Hollywood?

Funny thing is that earlier in the day, Jason had been getting the heebee jeebees over Zoralee scraping a rock on her teeth (by the way, the second bottom one is coming in). He would go into a full body convulsion whenever he envisioned her tooth cracking. See, and that didn't bother me at all, though I agreed we shouldn't let her do it.

Well, thanks for playing along, friends! What fun. If you missed the photo, scroll down to two entries below.

the domesticity roundup

first canning
oh, nothing
just pitting cherries
just sitting
and pitting
because I'm a canner
yep
i can things
i can can things
i can
i can
i can
and i do

My cousins brought us a bunch of Flathead cherries they'd picked at an orchard. The orchard dwellers were begging regular citizens to come pick before a huge storm ruined the cherries. So, I washed, pitted, and chopped enough cherries to make six (6) jars of syrup and three (3) jars of jam. I read the hot bath canning directions thirty-seven (37) times. I didn't follow the directions precisely, because that really weirds me out. Where's the creativity when you do that? Where's the love? Not in my jars of cherries, obviously, because none of it turned out thick enough. The jam is more like syrup, and the syrup is simply watery cherry bits. Nonetheless, I was proud. It took me an entire day to do this. And so, weeks later, I am still proud.

I had nine (9) jars sitting on my counter, but by now I've sent one (1) home with my sister and one (1) with Joanna and one (1) with Nikki. "There you go now, deary. Take a jar of my cherry syrup, which can be stored in the cupboard and used at a later date, because I canned it and those cherries are now 'put up,' as we canners like to say." When I feel like a dope, it's very good therapy to nonchalantly walk past my counter and notice those jars out of the corner of my eyes. And revel in knowing that I am a real home-maker pretty much.

I love the idea of domesticity. But I really have to work at it. I like doing tasks in and around and outside the house. But I am slow. So I get panicky and start going so speedily I'm not even remotely living in the moment. I'm concerned only about finishing this task so that I can get onto the next one and be the perfect maker of homes.

Not every part of this gig is second nature, you know. It's thirty-seventh nature to remember to water the plants (see Tamie's wonderful blog about forgetting to water plants and, similarly, your own soul) and it's four-hundred-and-eleventh nature to plan meals a couple of days in advance. I never gave a lick about this stuff until I got out on my own. Then I thought, dang, I should've actually watched my mom make gravy. We always had chores growing up: cleaning the house, setting the table for meals, folding laundry, whatever. I also did a little sewing by hand. Why, in second-ish grade I made a jean purse with my name stitched onto it in bright red thread. But I didn't strive to grow in any of those areas until well into adulthood. So these are victories, people. Very big victories.

One day soon I am going to take a sewing class and learn the proper ways of this craft. But I have a feeling it'll take a lot of discipline for me when the teacher's opening line is not, "Welcome, folks! How's about we start right in with sewing? Forget all this boring orientation stuff and learning good methodology. Just go for it, and you'll probably get a decent product!" With that said, here are 3 sewing projects as of late. I will stress that for a person like me who hates following directions, you win some and you lose some.

• 1. Okay, let's start with a clear win. This is a onesie that I cut the bottom off of and sewed a miniskirt onto. Ha ha ha. Who would call this a clear win? I would. That tells you something about my standards. Anyway, it's actually quite useful, and I plan to make more. Pants are easier for EC than sleepers, and leggings are even easier, which she could totally wear with this dress. Why didn't I just sew a whole dress from scratch? Oh, because the top half of a human body is very complex. And I don't read patterns yet. Now, a worm I could sew a dress for.

The following photographs, especially #3, are funny if you imagine that she knows she's modeling.

• 2. This one is pretty okay. It is a boundary thingy bob. I asked Jason to make me a rectangle out of PVC pipe of dimensions that work for one side of Zoralee's sleeping pad, though we don't really use it for that. I purchased netting at the fabric store and used scrap fabric for the edges. We move it around the house, depending on where we want to keep her from. It's bulky for up and down the stairs, and I could probably pick up an adjustable gate at a garage sale for like $3. Still. We're having fun with PVC pipe creations these days. So I'll call this a weird win.

• 3. And now for the total bomb. These were going to be very cute. Well, they are very cute; they're just not functional. They are piddle pads. You lay a baby down on one to change their diaper. They are water-resistant (practically water-proof) on the bottom, because I sewed a thick, tightly weaved cotton layer onto the bottom. Problem: the top layer is polar fleece and doesn't take in water. I was thinking softness, not soaky soaky. They repel water. If the baby does piddle, it will run for the low points, namely, wherever his body is pushing down. It will soak his clothes, his skin, his soul. Or else it'll run off the edges of the piddle pad and onto your bed or couch. So, if anybody has ideas of what to do with them, I'm up.

Thank you.

And how do you like the idea of emboldening the first line of each paragraph? I got that from Don Miller's blog. Otherwise, all this text just runs together and is difficult to read.

guess what this is

Christi just had a photo guessing contest on her blog, and today when I found this, I knew I could simply tell about it or copy her to make it more fun. (Thanks, Christi. Still waiting for the answer to your picture!)