And I thank ye for your interest.
Now then, would you let me take a minute to work out some mental curls? I know I have said these same things before. I am insecure.
It's like this: I feel like a shallow, egotistical maniac posting hair pictures (or practically any pictures having to do with me or my own family) while young girls somewhere on the same globe are being forced to fix their hair for another day in the sex trade industry, and a child is lying underneath a rubble heap after an earthquake, and old and sick people are forgotten by society, and worse yet, their own families. Even in my own world, heartache lurks. Those close to me are trapped under mountains of debt, or the sickening anxiety of having their voices taken, or relational confusion.
This is one reason my blogging is so sporadic. I sit down to post yet another scrap of silliness that seems irrelevant to the suffering of the world. It may be meaningful to me, and somewhat to my family and friends, but I feel like a fool that this blog is not an intentional social commentary. It's not a forum on faith, politics, or social justice. It's just not. It's actually an online family time capsule. I think about the other things, and have other communities within which to face those truths and ask what to do about them (some of them your blogs), but not here. And this makes me feel very guilty and very stressed out. It's not an accurate picture of the whole me. And yet, I can't change it. I simply don't have (or am not making) time right now for it all. It's so much easier and quicker for me to document what I know... which is what I see around me...which is my family...and, in this case, my hair. So what does all of this mean, Tamie, from an Enneagramic perspective?!
I ran into an old high school friend the other day, and in the middle of telling me that her father in law had just died unexpectedly, she said she'd been waiting for me to post pics of my hair the curly way. It totally threw me.
Thinking about it later, either my old friend is an incredibly selfless individual to have the presence of mind for my hairdo in the midst of her own trauma, or selfless and selfish aren't such a big part of this picture as I'm making them to be. I guess, I think, I hope we need the little things - knowing how your friend's trip went and if your grandma is feeling okay today - to get through life, to enjoy life and each other, to endure heartache, to balance us out from all of the other craze. Right? You guys probably already know this. It's me who needs to work it out.
So, my self-reminders are 1. it's okay that my blog is trivial in the overall scheme of the universe, because we shouldn't take blogs for accurate portrayals of people as their whole selves, and 2. if we care only about ourselves (and then, only the surface things), and choose blindness to our neighbor's joys and sorrows, we're really missing out, both on reality and the chance to affect reality.
So there. Thank you again. In closing, let's all do our part to help a friend or enemy in need, and would you like to see a pair of fan-frickin'-tastic boots, the result of an ebay frenzy I went on several years ago? Okay then. Here they are.
DRATS! I must not've downloaded them. Another time then. Another shallow, shallow time.